My friend was right!

Wow, I did self sabotage. My weight went down to 230lbs at the beginning of May, now it is 244! Pretty impressive. I can't do anything about the past 6 weeks, just the present. I went back to the gym yesterday and went for a bike ride. Today I'll do cardio.

This is a similar path to the one I used for quitting drinking and smoking. Many attempts, relapses, failures, and more attempts until success sticks. It's been 4.5 years since I quit drinking, 6.5 months since I've quit smoking. The weight is the next thing on my list, and it will happen this year. Part of what set me off was a financial move. I saved up $1000, then spent on an awesome Bose PA system. Then a power cord to my macbook broke ($90), and I had to go to the doctor twice due to a spider bite ($100), and a weekly gig canceled. Ha! Murphy's Law.

When I had some money for an emergency, I had more confidence. I could walk around and say, "I can afford that if I wanted it. I could buy it right now!" That is a good feeling. I knew if my car broke down, or I had to leave town for a family emergency, I was covered. Without the emergency fund, I worried. I used to smoke when I was stressed, so now I eat. I should switch working out for eating while stressed, that way I could buy a new guitar and lose weight! lol

Now I'm back up to about $700 in savings, and getting more relaxed. Savings is not some magic key. The magic key is doing it, and not quitting. It's no different than quitting drinking or smoking; keep trying, and do not take it for granted once you get there.

By the way, I think the self sabotage is BS. I'm learning lessons. What to do, what not to do, and what works for me. It's better for the set back to occur early on; like a loss early on in the college football season. You get hungrier, and take are not as likely to take success for granted.

Day 100

It's hard to believe I started on December 14th.  My weight has literally yo-yo-ed.  Since my last blog in January, I;

  -got mad that I wasn't loosing weight fast enough and hurt my knee on the eliptical trainer, 

-was laid up for a week healing,

- had a chiropractor x-ray me and found out my hips are twisted,

- he wanted to have me come in 3-4x's a week for 6 months to straighten it but that was not in my budget, 

-we compromised on once a week for three months, 

-I have also gone to Fleet Feet and was fitted and bought new sneakers (I was wearing a 10.5, they said I'm an 11), 

-taken glucosomine, 

-been stretching, 

-icing my knee daily, 

**my knee feels great!

My weight escalated to 244lbs, with gusts up to 247!  On February 13th something pivotal happened:  I told a friend I wanted to really expand my business.  He told me not too because, he knows me, I will just self-sabotage and loose everything I gain.  I haven't hung around that person since then.  Also, I started to wonder why do I sometimes take one step forward, one step back?   I downloaded some positive thinking tapes: Dennis Waitley, Zig Ziglar, etc.  Also, I started reading more.  I read, "The Answer", and am now reading, "The Secret".  I think it is all about my thoughts and the neurological paths in my brain that I have used and strengthened over the decades of my life.  I need to consciously  change my thinking, creating new neurological pathways.

I keep pictures of the "skinny" me on my wall.  I think and visualize myself as skinny.  When I saw some recent pictures of myself, I was surprised I was still fat!  I'm not discouraged, because I am making progress, and I trust the process.  Consistency.

I am also taking a long term perspective.  This process will take at least a year to change all of my habits.  Habits can be changed after 25-30 repetitions, however the life long paths are still stronger and unless I consciously re-train my brain and body to use the new habit, I may fall back.  

I set goals.  Lift weights three times a week, full body.  Cardio 6 times per week.  And I keep track of it, it is written down in a book I have.  I also have a monthly planner on a dry erase board on my wall.  I put a red "X" on everyday I have exercised.  Dieting is important, but consistent exercise will change my body chemistry.

At the beginning of March I weighed 244, now I weight 237.  I rode my bike 25 miles yesterday, 10 miles the day before, and 20 miles before that.  It is consistency that will keep me making progress.

Trust the process

I am disappointed I did not lose weight last week.  I have had a calorie deficit each day, and I trust that my body is just adjusting to the swim and building a little muscle.  My pants fit better, and that is a good sign.  I also spent 2 days in bed due to illness.  That is just part of the process.   I believe if I keep on the course and continue to do what I am doing, it will work out.  My knee feels great, I have been able to go 40-60 minutes on the nordic trach without any problems.  I also started to train at about 130 bpm for my heart rate.

Rule number one

Rule number 1: Do not lose ground!  I am finally back down to weighing 232 lbs.  I dropped 8 lbs, then gained it around Christmas.  At the beginning of the college football season it is said that if a team is going to lose a game, if the loss comes early in the season it won't affect their national rankings as much as a loss late in the season.  This is my attitude regarding this set back. 

Another lesson for me is to never let up.  One day after losing the initial weight I thought I should eat a little more to bring my calories up, so my body won't adjust to a lower caloric intake.  One day turned into a week.  I'll be more careful this time.  

I started taking swimming lessons with a triathlon training group at the Brentwood Recreation center.  Ashley and Dee are the coaches.  Ashley won a gold medal in the 1996 Atlanta Olympics as part of the 800 meter relay team.  They told us we need to learn to swim efficient and fast, efficient first.  Also, our mantra is, "I swim on my side".  They will teach us proper breathing, I think it is breath in quickly on a one count, then exhale slowly on a four count.

They said some amazing things that people need to hear when starting any new endeavor.  They said it will be awkward, we will make mistakes, they will yell at us and don't take it personal because most of the class will be making the same mistakes.  They said it takes a couple of months to train the mind and muscles.  A couple of months of repetition.  It then becomes more effortless.  It becomes a habit, just they way you do something.   

Also, very important, they said swimming is a solitary sport.  You are by yourself in the water and once you get into a rhythm everything becomes automatic and you don't have to think about what you're doing.  They said negative thoughts can come in at this time and pretty much screw you.  You need to learn to think positive.

I'm and leaning piano and I can apply these lesson to leaning to play the piano.  In fact, this whole triathlon deal seems to be a way of life.  Eating, training, and thinking.  

How about the millions of people in the world with new years' resolutions to change for the better.  Or the people with addictions.  "Every thing your doing is going to be awkward, it takes a couple of months to train the mind and muscles, think positively".